Not Now Honey, I Have a Headache

Well it’s been about a month since I have written a blog, and amazingly the din of the hordes hanging on my every word has been excruciatingly silent. Fact is, there has been a din of the horde—but the horde is of gnats and their incessant stinging. Here’s a recent example:

I received a text Sunday while I was at church from a name withheld (NW)

NW: Are you around? I would like to visit with you about some of those geese out there.

I replied yes, and told him to call me. The phone rang about a minute later.

NW: Hey I was wondering whether I could hunt that field south of you.

Me: What field?

NW: You know, that one by the feedlot up next to the badlands.

Me: I have no idea where you are talking about. The Peaks (badlands) are at least a mile from my place.

NW: Well who owns that?

Me: I don’t know NW.

NW (incredulously): You don’t know your neighbors? Why not?

Me (trying to be helpful): You should get in touch with the irrigation district. The manager knows every landowner out here. He can probably help you.

NW: Well, I wanted to hunt now. There’s geese out there. OK, thanks…

Next morning I am just getting out of the shower, buck naked (thankfully no pics!), and the phone rings.

NW: Hey it’s NW. Can I hunt that field just south of your shop.

Me: NW, that’s my pasture. There are no geese in it.

NW: Yes there is! I see ’em dropping in right now. Can I drop by and talk to you about it?

Me: I just got out of the shower. I gotta get dressed and head to Cody. Are you sure we’re talking about the same field?

NW: It’s just south of your shop, by the feedlot.

Me: There’s no feedlot near me NW. There’s one about a half mile west of me, but it’s not mine.

NW: You guys move in here from out of state and want to hog all the hunting for yourself! <click>

For the record, there are some geese using some fields about a mile and a half from me, but I do not know the landowner. And I have let people hunt my place for deer for several years. This is but one of several examples of idiots I have had to deal with recently and is why I am a bit cranky. In fact, I am on a stupid people boycott. And some people cannot figure out why I live in the middle of Cowbleep, Wyoming, by myself…

Dave Campbell
Dave Campbell began his hunting career with a spear off the southern California coast in the late 1960s. It did not take long for him to graduate to the gun on land. Campbell is the founding editor in chief of the NRA’s tremendously successful Shooting Illustrated magazine. In 2006 he also edited the iconic book of terminal ballistics, Rifle Bullets for the Hunter—A Definitive Study. He returned to his beloved Wyoming in 2007 as a freelance writer, though he usually refers to himself now as a “recovering editor.”
  1. Brad Reply

    Dave,
    Certainly some people (like your caller) have never made it out grade school mentality.
    It seems that age in years often has no correlation to personal maturity.
    Where I live, it can get a bit windy. I just tell folks that it keeps the trash out…

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